The agent at the Hawaiian Airlines bag check took custody of my overstuffed luggage and wished me well on my journey.

She wasn’t referring to the flight home, though I feel confident that was included. She was sending me good vibes for the ridiculously long walk from the ticket counter to the actual airplane gate.

If you have not traveled on Hawaiian Airlines to the Los Angeles International Airport, LAX, in the last three years, you missed out on the passenger pilgrimage, the tremendous trek, the odd odyssey of landing in California and feeling like you have to walk to Arizona to get your bags and leave the airport. 

Dropping off your bags at Hawaiian in LAX to the departure gate was the same thing in reverse, except you got to look at the faces of the folks who  just landed in LA. Those faces all said, “Are we there yet?  Are we there yet? Aw, cʻmon! Not another escalator! We have to be there yet!”

No exaggeration or hyperbole. That walk was dramatically long and ridiculously complicated. Up escalators, down escalators, across long hallways, more escalators, more hallways. There was one hallway with glowing purple lights that felt like a portal into a ’70s sci fi movie, like maybe Logan might run right past you or Artoo might be fidgeting with a lock in the corner.

When Hawaiian Airlines started to have to rely on that circuitous route in LAX in the fall of 2021, the spin on the situation on their social media channels was impressive:

“Traveling through LAX with us? Beginning Oct. 12, Hawaiian Airlines will be located in Tom Bradley International Terminal (Terminal B ) a modern and spacious terminal with additional amenities and dining and shopping options. This terminal is large, so please plan for walking time.”

Some tried to document their experiences on social media, but the effect on video is nothing like experiencing it in person. It was like the boardgame Chutes and Ladders come to life, or SpongeBob’s Eels and Escalators, or the endless staircases in Hogwarts: Complicated to the point that it’s creative, almost whimsical. It wasn’t just the physical challenge, it was the doubt that hovered over every step because it didn’t seem possible that the crazy route was indeed the proper way to go.

How long was the walk?

It was so long that your luggage not only beat you to the baggage claim at LAX, it had already been taken off the carousel and put in a corner like it had been abandoned.

It was so long that when you got to the moving sidewalk and it wasnʻt working, you could just about burst into tears, even though, when it was working, it didnʻt help much.

It was so long that complaining children were worn down to a trudging silence, passengers carrying wheelless duffle bags were dragging them across the concrete floors, and people were heard muttering that they thought they were flying to Hawaiʻi, not walking.

The Hawaiian employees in LAX managed to play it off like it wasn’t a big deal. It wasn’t outright deceitful, more like cheerfully optimistic, like the trainer at the gym assuring you you’ve got 10 more reps in you, no problem.

“Itʻs about a 15 minute walk,” the counter agent told me. I laughed like she was joking.

Sure it’s a 15 minute walk if youʻre an Olympic-level athlete wearing roller skates and not carrying any bags of Trader Joe’s omiyage for your office friends. There were no benches along those long hallways, no chairs, not even the sketchy mechanical massage recliners. Nothing but you and your determination.

She asked me if I needed assistance. I adjusted my carry on over my shoulder and said no thank you. I welcomed the challenge and the grumpy fun of complaining about it the whole way.

That Escheresque experience is no more, though. If you missed it, you missed out.

As of April 22, Hawaiian airlines will no longer be in Tom Bradley International Terminal (Terminal B) and will instead be located at Terminal 6 at LAX.

The comments online were celebratory. Some even praised Jesus for the reprieve. Some claimed they would start flying on Hawaiian again now that the walk to and from the gate was not going to be so arduous.

But human nature, especially in our hyper irritable culture, loves to have something to complain about, and that walk made for great fodder. Perhaps no one will miss it, but people may nevertheless remember it with a kind of fondness and pride of having survived that marathon — despite lugging all that omiyage.