In my last column I argued that in Hawaiʻi incompetence is a bigger problem than corruption.

Ironically, Hawaiʻi’s current corruption investigation itself proves my point. It has been incompetent from the get-go since, well, we don’t know when because the date it started, or resumed, or stopped, or whatever, still is a mystery.

Hawaiʻi’s attorney general Anne Lopez recently announced that the investigation into the unidentified legislator who in 2022 was recorded accepting $35,000 in a paper bag, according to the FBI, is moving forward. So maybe, just maybe, the train is back on track.

But it’s a mighty slow train with too many starts and stops and more delays than today’s TSA check-in lines.

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This incompetence is a blot on the justice system and an example of how federalism should not work.

But worst of all it’s making people crazy by encouraging them to weave angry theories based on the sparsest of facts because what officials have told us isn’t fake news. It’s no news — nothing substantial, nothing at all.

And that includes what the public now knows about Sylvia Luke which, given what we know right now, corruption-wise is still more soap opera than substance. And even that information did not come from authorities.

It’s possible to make up some of this deficit, but this bribery investigation will — and should — always carry a bright, shiny patina of incompetence.

Incompetence No. 1 is the time the process has taken and the reasons it has taken so long

To get a full picture, begin with the February 2021 bribery charges against Hawaiʻi legislators Ty Cullen and Kalani English who were caught so red-handed taking bribes from a wastewater company owner that they had little choice but to plead guilty later in the process.

Cullen agreed to become an FBI informant. In January 2022, a month before his charges were announced, Cullen made a recording of a bribery suspect giving $35,000 to an “influential state legislator,” according to a federal court document.

The federal investigation into the $35,000 supposedly continued for at least three years, or maybe not. Because the feds say nothing.

Then, in 2025, we find out about the possible bribe not because the feds said anything but because Civil Beat broke the story.

After which, political chaos ensues.

The Legislature dilly-dallies about starting its own investigation. State officials finally get an OK from the feds to start a state investigation.

Last month, Lopez announced that her office had begun interviews and issued subpoenas.

To sum up, four years after the original recording, and if you take a longer view, seven years after the feds first began the bribery investigation that nailed English and Cullen, we still know nothing about the mystery legislator.

And maybe you’re reassured by Lopez’s announcement, but you can rest assured that subpoenas and interviews are just the beginning of a very long process even if it identifies some criminal wrongdoing, which of course may not happen, and even if charges are filed. So add a couple of years. 

Let’s say 2029 easily. With a 2029 completion date, using 2019 as the beginning date, that’s 10 years. Eight years since Cullen made the recording, and four years after the public first got only the sketchiest information about the  “influential legislator.”

Can you think of other government enterprises that took four or even 10 years? Sure you can, as in nothing gets done on time in this state.

The comparison is a little unfair because the legal process is purposely slow. Delay is part of due process. So is confidentiality. But these have limits when they go too far in prohibiting the public’s right to know.

And that denial of transparency and accountability is the first thing wrong with the entire investigation.

The second incompetency is that the investigation is a blot on how federalism is supposed to work. In everyday life federalism is based on the idea that federal and state officials share power. Mutual cooperation.

There are no specific rules that make this sharing work. The basis is cooperation, like what has finally happened with the Hawaiʻi investigation. But for many years, the feds kept the bribery investigation to themselves even though they had knowledge of a possible serious violation of the public trust.

It got defined as federal jurisdiction, end of story, when in fact the state could have stepped in any time.

Instead, the state rolled over quicker than the best border collie at obedience school.

Most of all, this incompetence is making people crazy. So, let’s talk about Sylvia Luke.

For sure, I am not defending Luke. I think Lee Cataluna’s column last weekend about her is right on.

Luke’s story is so ditzy, convoluted and ironic that it could be the cold opening on “Saturday Night Live,” which Cataluna could definitely write.

But let’s keep in mind how little the Luke saga actually tells us about the $35,000 transaction and how much people are willing to fill in the blanks on the basis of their own theories and imagination.

This incompetence has brought about theories without substance — feelings rather than facts. 

People have become corruption detectives with conclusions as confidently definitive as anything Sherlock Holmes ever said to Dr. Watson.

Here is how one comment to Cataluna’s piece put it, “All corrupt at every level. All need to go.” 

Way too elementary, my dear Watson.

In a democracy, people have every right to think what you want about a public official. But a really functioning democracy requires timely information and transparency, so people can make decisions on the basis of facts rather than just feelings.

On the surface, the probe of the mystery legislator may be different from other long-delayed government projects. 

By driving people up the wall with no remedy in sight, though, the corruption investigation deserves a prime spot in the Hawaiʻi Incompetence Hall of Fame.

Consider that done. With no further delay.