Re-Homed & Off the Edge: Flashbacks

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I’m sure you know this feeling: a sudden and visceral memory that isn’t déjà vu, but like a re-living of a past moment at some cellular level. All at once, while you’re looking at something, or catching a scent on the breeze, feeling the shift in evening temperature, or any number of sensory moments, you’re transported to some other familiar time or place. It comes up and fades just as rapidly, but your memory has been sparked. So it has been for me of late.

In the past I’ve had flashbacks of NY days, those formative years when I was 18 years old and setting out into the world for the first time. I’ve remembered spring days or fall afternoons like they were recent experiences. Or I’ve had recollections of travels in other countries such as Burma, or China, or even Italy. What’s interesting about any of these moments is that they are unprompted and very potent. And there is really no limit on the scope of their arising. Age and distance are meaningless in the face of deep memory.

So imagine my surprise when I have them about homeless moments from this past year. And it’s especially surprising when they’re not aversive memories, almost comforting in fact. Closing up the office one evening, now that it’s darker outside, there was a quietness permeating the air. In that moment I could feel the pause of a similar evening last winter or in fact several evenings. Only then it was one that had no destination as I have now. That quiet was my home experience.

Or another moment of a chill, crisp morning and I had that feeling of mentally preparing for a cold shower at the Natatorium. It was familiar and there was a certain fortitude of mind, as well as a resignation. But it was a fleeting moment replaced by an appreciation of the hot shower I now possess. I can’t really say why these moments surprised me, but they did.

Now I can also put some additional thoughts to something someone recently asked me. It was a social worker at the conference I spoke at recently, and she had someone who was also recently re-homed. She said he was experiencing a great deal of fear now that he had this home and responsibility. Initially I suggested she remember the power of listening; something that can be far superior to “fixing” things for him. But later I thought about the flashbacks and had another thought: She could let him know that fear can be put to good use if it prompts him to appreciate his new circumstance. And it might give him the courage to fight for what he achieved, just as a flashback might allow me to appreciate my new destination, or that hot shower waiting for me.

In essence, I feel the flashbacks can be simple tools that re-connect us to where we’ve been, and who we believed we were before. In light of having made some progress it can be important to not lose sight of those factors. Why? Especially if painful pasts are involved? Simply put, I do believe that the power to push through present, and future, challenges is built on the experience of having been through tough times before. So those challenges can be blueprints to use when needed.

I could casually claim it as “learning from your past mistakes,” but it’s bigger than that. It’s something more aligned with a connectivity to ourselves, and ultimately those around us. It’s truly an always present lifeline.

As such, I hope that the connectivity and memories in your life, whether fleeting or deeply embedded, bring you some measure of joy and gratitude this Thanksgiving. Aloha!

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About the Author

  • Joe Bright
    Joe Bright
    Joe Bright is a graduate of Iolani School and went on to study art at The Cooper Union School of Art in New York City, and later Chinese medicine at The American College of Traditional Chinese Medicine in San Francisco. Joe currently runs a small acupuncture clinic, Kama’aina Acupuncture in Kapahulu as the first dedicated low-cost “community acupuncture” clinic in Honolulu. Joe has a varied background that has included working as a bicycle mechanic, freelance artist, teaching calligraphy and Tai Chi, a nanny, and even a CEO of a small entrepreneurial company. He continues to create art, even having work recently appear at the Honolulu Academy of Arts as well the Bishop Museum. He also continues with entrepreneurial projects when possible and serves on the Board of Directors for a local Buddhist meditation organization, Vipassana Hawai’i.
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