The Hawaii Legislature is eager to pass legislation to attract more film production in the islands.

It’s a clean, glamorous and popular way to create jobs and promote the islands.

But if the laws are used to make cinema that glorifies the narrow slice of Hawaii depicted in “The Descendants,” maybe lawmakers should reconsider.

I finally got around to viewing the much-heralded film; old-school guy that I am, I had to wait for it to come out on Blockbuster.

George Clooney, September 2009.

Flickr: Courtney

I won’t burden readers with a film review — other than calling it disappointing — and by now most everyone knows the story of George Clooney as a soon-to-be-widowed father of two who was cuckolded by his wife and is being pressured to sell family land on Kauai.

Sure, “The Descendants” was nominated for Best Picture in the Academy Awards and got all kinds of acclaim.

But the Hawaii and its people that are depicted in the movie — well, that’s something I feel I have to say something about.

Things seemed promising early on in the film: shots of boxy apartment buildings, congested freeways, Diamond Head devoid of rainfall, homeless people downtown, Chinatown shoppers, squatters on beaches.

“Paradise?” says Clooney’s character. “Paradise can go fuck itself.”

I thought: Tell it like it is, Alexander Payne!

But that all changed, right about the time I learned that Clooney’s surname is King and that he’s descended from Hawaii royalty and haole aristocracy and that he lives in a beautiful house in Manoa (or Nuuanu or Tantalus; someplace like that) with a swimming pool and the kids go to Punahou and they hang out at the Outrigger Canoe Club and they own a beach and mountain on the Garden Isle.

“The Descendants” had gone from hibiscus and Gabby Pahinui to a dashboard hula doll and Laird Hamilton in just minutes, and the film kept right on descending.

State Senators Loved It

But what do I know?

On March 1, the Hawaii State Senate honored Kaui Hart Hemmings, the author of the book version of “The Descendants” and an advisor to the film. (And stepdaughter of former GOP state Sen. Fred Hemmings.)

“We are very proud of Kaui Hart Hemmings and the role she played in showcasing Hawaii in her novel. She shares the story of life in our islands through the eyes of a Kamaaina, which everyone in the world would be able to appreciate,” said Senate Majority Leader Brickwood Galuteria, who presented the certificate. That’s from a Senate press release.

“Scenery from Kauai’s iconic properties and landscapes are beautifully photographed and highlighted in the film, thanks to Kaui and the producers of the movie,” said Sen. Ron Kouchi of Kauai. “We are pleased with being able to share our island lifestyle with those who watch the movie.”

“Our island lifestyle”? More like the richest 1 percent, the ones teeing up at Princeville.

The Senate noted that the soundtrack featured not only Gabby Pahinui, Lena Machado, Ray Kane, Keola Beamer, Jeff Peterson, Sonny Chillingworth and (my hero) Dennis Kamakahi.

But even that bugged me. The music often didn’t seem to fit what was on screen — namely, a privileged family in crisis.

What I wanted to see was a story of modern Hawaii that was much more inclusive, more thoughtful, more relatable … and less haole. I think there are many rich Hawaii stories to tell through film, yet they are so rarely told, let alone feature major movie stars.

I shouldn’t complain; those musicians and a lot of people who worked on the film were paid. But, isn’t Hawaii and its haole aristocracy already well represented by Alex O’Loughlin and Scott Caan?

I fear that the lasting image of Hawaii from “The Descendants” is the open-mouth visage of Matt King’s wife in Queen’s Medical Center.

Missed Opportunity

The best part of “The Descendants” came near the end, when King tells his relatives — including, amazingly, Beau Bridges — that he’s not going to sign the deed to sell the land:

We didn’t do anything to own this land — it was entrusted to us. Now, we’re haole as shit and we go to private schools and clubs and we can hardly speak Pidgin let alone Hawaiian.

But we’ve got Hawaiian blood, and we’re tied to this land and our children are tied to this land.

Now, it’s a miracle that, for some bullshit reason, 150 years ago, we owned this much of paradise. But we do. And, for whatever bullshit reason, I’m the trustee now and I’m not signing.

There’s a movie to be made from that speech. Might even deserve tax credits from the Hawaii State Senate.